


And I'm Letting Myself Down By Satisfying You

by RChaha



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fetus Harry, Fetus Louis, First Time, M/M, My First Fanfic, The X Factor Era, what even is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:18:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1331617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RChaha/pseuds/RChaha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s dark in the room, but he can still see the distinct curls of Harry’s hair, can still see every detail of Harry as if he’d painted him himself, as if he’d been Leonardo Da Vinci in another lifetime, and Harry was born to be his David. <br/>His David crawls up a little so he can put an elbow on each side of his Leo, so he can whisper in his ear like the temptress Louis never thought would come,<br/>“I want you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	And I'm Letting Myself Down By Satisfying You

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first fanfic.. ever...   
> so be easy on me if it sucks XD  
> The title is from The Hill from Once, the movie.  
> I listened to that while writing this. It's the best.
> 
>  
> 
> ..please tell me what you think.. maybe.. possibly..  
> okay bye

 

Louis has never been good with words. They always came out wrong from his mouth. He doesn’t mean to have as much bite as he does, it just happens. Sometimes he just gets so frustrated with the world that he can’t help but take it out on small Bambis with green eyes and curly, beautiful hair.

He just can’t help it.

It’s worse knowing that he has that power. It used to be that he’d just remark his quips and wait to be ignored. The most reaction he’d get is a laugh from Stan, maybe a scolding from his mom. No one would ever react because they knew it was just _him._

Not Harry.

Harry’s eyes are always a cross between anger and hurt, the gray fading line that seems to always walk in-between the two.

It’s just not fair. It’s not fair that Harry gives him the power to watch his eyes glass over to one of the two. Louis didn’t mean to gain so much power over him. It used to just be some weird hero worship thing. Louis was the oldest, the funniest, and the coolest out of all of them. How could Harry not look up to him?

But it wasn’t just that.

The older Harry got, the more the looks changed. It changed from some weird admiration, to let’s fuck on the floor and forget.

Louis was never quite prepared for that change.

The truth in the matter is that Louis always wanted Harry, even when it was the childish admiration. It made Louis sick to his stomach. Louis always wanted to tear Harry apart, always wanted to rip him apart until there was nothing left but the pieces he dared to give Harry.

It was a problem.

 But Louis, Louis could manage it when it was just _him_. Even when he was about to tip over the iceberg of his thoughts wrapped around the idea of Harry’s mouth in so many places, he could stop himself. He could always think, “It’d never happen because Harry,

He’d never want me.”

That thick, idealistic vision didn’t last long.

It was the day before the season finale of the X Factor. All of the other boys were asleep, of course. Not Harry and Louis. Louis knew that if he just turned his head to the side, he’d see Harry’s curly head on the other bunk. Louis had been able to fain indifference and coolness around the other boys, but the truth in the matter was that Louis, cool-headed leader, was terrified. He didn’t know what lay ahead of him. All he knew was that he had formed a family,

A _family_

In these boys and he just couldn’t stand to lose them.

They hadn’t really talked about what would happen if they didn’t win,

only small, warped up childish ideas thrown in for the sake of trite goodbyes.

But they had never seriously talked about it.

The idea of leaving, losing these boys, losing Harry, made Louis’ chest hurt in a form of heartache he’d never experienced before.

“Louis-“Harry whispered to him, interrupting Louis’ inner dialogue and turmoil.

He knew what Harry was going to ask for before he even said anything.

“Get in, weirdo,” Louis replied with a laugh, opening his covers and attempting to raise his eyebrows at Harry as the sixteen year old hobbled over to his bed.

Harry always needed this. It was easy to remember that Harry was/is the baby of the group in moments like these. In times of trouble, he always searches for physical contact, something to ground himself to where he’s at, something to help him remember that he is not alone.

Louis, more often than not, provides that for him.

It’s easy: these roles that they somehow branded into their bizarre relationship. It’s symbiotic, them needing each other.

It’s just them.

It’s hard for Louis not to lose himself in the warmth of Harry, the tightness of his arms, the warmth of the breath in the crevice of his neck.

It’s hard for him to remember where they are: a room of the X Factor house, with 3 other boys, sleeping before the biggest night of their lives.

It’s hard for him to remember that Harry is sixteen, _sixteen_ , and he still has his whole life ahead of him. Two years is so short, but feels so long.

 (Louis knows that he’s the most jaded out of the bunch. It’s the only real distinguishing factor that reveals his age against his peers.)

“Louis?” Harry asks shyly, looking up at Louis to shine his beautiful, tempting eyes at him.

Harry’s eyes speak volumes, and Louis doesn’t know whether he wants to yell at him until he sees tears shining in them, or kiss him until his eyes glow with affection and wonder.

“Yes, Hazza?” Louis remarks back, grinning down at him with feigned nonchalance.

It’s dark in the room, but he can still see the distinct curls of Harry’s hair, can still see every detail of Harry as if he’d painted him himself, as if he’d been Leonardo Da Vinci in another lifetime, and Harry was born to be his David.

His David crawls up a little so he can put an elbow on each side of his Leo, so he can whisper in his ear like the temptress Louis never thought would come,

“I want you.”

Louis balks and almost scrambles away from Harry because no, no this isn’t okay.  This doesn’t fit the carefully constructed lines of their relationship.

(Louis hadn’t quite admitted to himself that there were never any lines with Harry. There was just exposed soul seeping through.)  
It’s not fair. Louis doesn’t know what he did in a past life to deserve this beautiful, precious boy in front of him.

“Harry,” Louis mumbled, trying his best to sound strong, trying his best to mask the unsure stutter in his voice.

“Louis…” The minx teased back, doing his best to plaster his body to Louis’ in hopes of getting what he undoubtedly desired.

This boy was going to be the death of him.

“We can’t.” Louis tried again. In a desperate attempt to put some space between the two of them, he pushed at Harry’s shoulders, hoping it would be enough to get him off the stupid bed.

“But I love you.”

 

 

There it was.

The confession that would doom Louis before it could even have a chance of stopping.

This was the thing that allowed Louis to make or break Harry.

He said those three words, and from then on, Louis could never say no.

He had to push Harry back to his place, plastered against his chest.

He _had_ to kiss Harry when he got there, grabbing at his hair in an attempt to consume the boy, to take him for everything he has.

Their lips glided together in pure elegance, a starking contrast to the way their hips grinded together, desperate, deep, and full.

“I love you, Harry. Dammit I love you. You’re such a little devil and I want to split you in two please please-“

Louis was full on rambling into Harry’s mouth by now. Louis’ hands were roaming everywhere, everywhere he had sworn to never touch. He could feel Harry rutting against him, and he couldn’t help but smile into the consuming mouth of his siren.

He was doing that. He was making Harry hard.

“Louis-“Harry gasped, taking a second to breathe into Louis’ neck, before attempting to claw at and bite him. “Louis I need, I need, please, Louis I need-“

This is where Louis needed to step in. This is what Louis is best at.

Grabbing both sides of Harry’s face, he pulled away from him a bit so he could look into those haunting, glassy eyes.

“What do you need Haz?” Louis said slowly, making sure he was distinct and in control.

With a sigh, Harry’s eyes went blank with lust before muttering _you_ and hiding himself in Louis’ neck.

 

That was Harry’s answer.

And from then on, that would always be Harry’s answer.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Soo if you want maybe more, let me know and I can post a part two? Maybe. possibly.


End file.
